Zawaya

The problem of marriage through the Internet: nature trumps nurture

By: Mohamed Yehdih Ould Baba Ahmed

The world has undoubtedly become a small village where countries have multi-dimensional and multi-purpose relations that go beyond diplomacy, to include the movement of people, trade, and information. This becomes increasingly complex in the context of the threefold globalization outcomes: multinational companies, human rights, and the internet. The latter has invaded the world and people’s personal lives, and many people nowadays look for marriage or a life partner through all modern technological means, even if that partner lives outside their countries. This raises numerous questions about the significant changes brought by technology in terms of reshaping humanity anew on the one hand, and establishing marital relations between men and women across the Internet on the other hand.

We will tackle this issue by raising the following questions: How can romance on the Internet change the way men and women interact? In light of different world cultures and the power of modern technology, where can we find references for a marriage that is based on online mutual understanding between a woman and a man? Is it in Iran or in Rome? In other words, does this marriage accept separation in accordance with Islamic methodology? Or is it a catholic marriage that does not accept separation?? There are many other questions that we unfortunately cannot elaborate in this article.

I personally believe that marriage through the internet has many positive aspects: It is the best suited way to tie intimate and interactive relationships between men and women, with the possibility of leading to marriage afterward. Such a marriage can ultimately be successful if the requirements of trust, seriousness, and honesty between the two partners are satisfied, and if their goals are noble, i.e. the man is genuinely looking for a life partner who is ready to accept his reality and temperament, and the woman is looking for a man to save her from the status of a spinster and meet her demands.

However, like all things, marriage through the Internet has several disadvantages: It is a new phenomenon to our Arab and Islamic societies, the involved parties might pretend things they do not feel for real, and women seeking marriage via chat rooms are considered a commodity, etc.

In conclusion, we can say that although marriage through the Internet is thought to provide a free space to influence others and be influenced in terms of culture and behavior – given the debates and dialogues taking place between women and men theoretically before being trapped in the cage of marital life -, this marriage still faces a number of practical obstacles, namely that understanding and happiness on the Internet can quickly turn into disagreements and misery in the realm of real life, if we bear in mind the saying “always has been, always will be”, and the Mauritanian proverb that states that “straightening the behavior of an old man is expensive and hard”. In short, the problem of marriage through the Internet is that nature trumps nurture.